


Dirty Little Secret

by Apatheia_Jane



Category: Top Gear (UK)
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-11-13
Updated: 2009-11-13
Packaged: 2017-10-02 13:57:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Apatheia_Jane/pseuds/Apatheia_Jane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for "dirty little secret" prompt in a topgearslash challenge.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dirty Little Secret

It's hard to have secrets when you're a celebrity. It's even harder to keep secrets when you have two colleagues who take it as their job description to keep tabs on you for future comedy fodder. And normally Richard doesn't even try, it's just too much work. And besides, he likes that they know him, better even than Mindy he sometimes thinks.

But there's one big thing Mindy knows that they don't, one thing he fears them finding out above all other potential humiliations.

She found it out by accident, after he'd come home from the finale late and slid into bed beside her, and she'd put her book down and teased him how James had stolen the sex symbol spotlight off him with his weird crush award. She started going on about his shy smiles and laughing eyes, and mostly jokingly she said, "I bet even Jeremy fancies him." And Richard had flushed, and she'd been delighted to see him squirm, and she'd just pushed it that little bit further, perhaps mistaking his discomfort for squeamishness. "Have you seen how Jeremy looks, sometimes, when James says something surprising? It's such a look of delighted adoration. I bet Jeremy wants to slide his hands into that hair, pull him onto his lap and kiss him senseless. I bet he lies awake at night, thinking of James' hands, so strong and nimble, thinking of how good it would feel to have those hands touching him."

Richard realised with rising horror that he was helpless to keep his reaction from her, the signs of his arousal she'd seen thousands of times before, except this time, it wasn't for her. It wasn't like when she'd suggested they watched porn together, him watching the gorgeous nameless and shameless women and her watching him. This wasn't something they'd agreed to. This was his deepest secret fantasy, the guilty desire that he felt and denied every second spent with them, the attraction he couldn't fully repress that he'd always felt was a betrayal of their friendship as well as his marriage. This was his dirty little secret, caged and hidden and suddenly released by her words into the space between them where it circled, maybe waiting to rip them apart.

She wasn't backing off though. "He's always calling the two of you gay. I bet he wishes it were true. Wishes he could fuck James over the bonnet of his Bentley, the soft suspension rocking with his thrusts."

It was part of why he loved her, that she laughed at him and never let him be and would only back down (gracefully, always) once she'd gotten what she wanted. He could feel her studying him, her mind working on overdrive to figure him out. Was it James? Jeremy? Both of them? Was it an affair, or just a crush? He wanted to explain, to say it wasn't what she thought, but he had no idea what she was thinking. He wanted to shove her away, to stop her teasing words and calculating gaze stripping him bare, the dark places inside him exposed and raw.

"Do you think he wishes he had the guts to say something about it? Do you think the fantasy sustains him, or does he desperately long for more?"

He felt shamed, and small, and irrationally angry at her for twisting him apart so the wrong bits were showing.

And then she smiled flirtatiously, sliding a leg over his hip to press up against him. "I bet Jeremy thinks of you too. Thinks what you'd look like with James on his knees before you, moaning and sucking your cock like he loves it, with your hands roughly tugging his hair." Richard's momentary shock was quickly overtaken by lust. He felt filthy, tainted, glorious, too many things at once, overwhelmed and excruciatingly hard. Her hand moved south, confidently sliding under his waistband, wrapping around him, eliciting a quiet hitching of his breath. "I bet he wants to know what you look like when you come. You're gorgeous, by the way," she said confidingly, "but he wouldn't know that. I bet he'd like to, to see your face when you're like this, so turned on you can barely speak, so wide open you can't keep anything back." He felt like he'd never been so turned on his life. He was going to come in his pyjamas any moment now, if she just sped up her hand a fraction... his head fell back, and she pounced, sucking just above his collarbone, hard enough to bruise, and her hair tickled his chest, and he closed his eyes and saw James above him and Jeremy in a chair off to the side and he cried out James' name as he came.

She was lying still against him, one hand resting against his belly and the other idly playing with his hair as he struggled to gather his thoughts and regain coherency. He dimly wanted to apologise, to grovel and promise not to think about it any more, but he felt safe and loved in her arms and still nowhere near coming down. She loved him, and trusted him, and she just wasn't the kind of person who was cruel or insecure enough to have done any of that to test him. He roused himself, lifting a hand to brush her hair out of face and tilting her chin up to kiss him, hoping she'd be able to read his love and gratitude as well as she seemed to read everything else.

After that, it became a thing. She invited James and Jeremy over for dinner, a perfect hostess with meticulously prepared home cooking, more than holding her own in the inevitably animated conversation, raising an eyebrow any time Jeremy said something that could be remotely construed as sexual in a way that had Richard shifting under the table. The second Jeremy and James had shuffled out the door, he pressed her up against the fridge, fingers diving under her skirt as the magnets fell at their feet. They still made love without a mention of the other two men, in fact most of the time it was just the two of them, but it was always more fierce when she did, the illicit guilt making it more urgent, more vibrant.

His marriage had never been better. But at work, it was getting harder and harder to put aside his fantasies of James and Jeremy, freed and lent credibility by Mindy's encouragement. The scenarios she voiced, the vivid images he carried with him, fitted in all too well with their actual interactions, and sometimes he'd forget himself and reach out to touch one of them before snatching his hand back in horror.

He wasn't sure how much longer it would be before he slipped up.


End file.
